


Do You Mind?!

by Greensword101



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 06:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13160802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greensword101/pseuds/Greensword101
Summary: Rey wishes she didn't catch Kylo Ren during his bathroom break. Brief moments of awkwardness in The Last Jedi. Potential spoilers, so read with caution.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All Rights to Star Wars belongs to Lucas Films, 20th Century Fox and Walt Disney Pictures. The series does not belong to George Lucas, however. Enjoy!

 

Rey felt the tug in her mind, sighing softly as she knew what was to come next.

She blinked, and blinked, and blinked. When she was certain she wasn't going crazy, Rey blinked again, just to be safe.

An open newspaper blocked her view, but she had a good idea on who was reading it. The headlines said: FIRST ORDER DESTORYS PLANETS; THEN STEALS A GIRL on the front page. Breathing on the other side of the paper. Rey tries not to scream.

Kylo Ren does for her when he puts the paper down and sees her.

"Do you mind?! Could you give me some privacy?!" He yells.

"I'm sorry," Rey says sarcastically, "I can't control how this thing works!"

"J-just turn around and let me finish –" Kylo Ren starts, but Rey waves him off.

"No." She says flatly. "No. I am not doing this right now, we'll talk later. And Gungan-print underwear, seriously?!"

* * *

Snoke pinches the bridge of his nose, wishing he could have timed that moment a little better. He quickly requested the usual drink, something to burn away the image that he just saw. He had to agree with the girl for once, his apprentice had a bad taste in apparel.

* * *

Somewhere on Naboo, an old Gungan broke down crying over some imaginary offense.

* * *

Luke stares as Rey rams her head against the wall of one of the huts on the island.

"Rey, what are you doing?" Luke sighs.

"I don't want to talk about it…" Rey's voice is mumbled as her lips are pressed against the stone. The image burned into her brain…she shudders, wishing they had interacted when Kylo Ren was simply shirtless and not pant-less…


	2. Hux's Family

"Sir, a message from Supreme Leader Snoke."

Hux begins strutting, his voice level. "Tell him I'll take the call in my chambers –"

He flinches when the hologram of Snoke, the height of an X-wing, materializes in front of him. As the torturous lecture begins – along with a very  _intimidating_ demonstration of the Force – a red letter materializes and plants itself onto Hux's face.

He pales. "Fuck."

Snoke's image on the hologram smirks. "Fan mail so soon after your failure, Hux?"

"N-no, Supreme Leader…" Hux stares at the letter, wishing that he didn't have to open it. But sooner or later, it will start smoking up and he's  _never_  had to deal with it when it got to that point.

"Ah, I see smoke. Kindly open it before it spontaneously combusts." Snoke says in a dry voice. He smirks again. "Or perhaps we could continue with our session…"

He holds up a hand threateningly, even though Hux knows that he barely twitched when he used the Force.

He opens the letter with shaking hands, wincing and waiting for the explosion.

"BILLIUS WEASLEY!"

"Oh, bloody hell!" Hux swore as the red paper folded itself into a pair of lips and rose up in the air, still smoking.

HOW  _DARE_  YOU JOIN THE FIRST ORDER! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER HAS BEEN DEALING IN FIREWHISKY, YOUR WIFE HAS DECLARED WAR ON LEPRECHAUNS, YOUR BROTHERS HAVE CONVINCED THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC TO FORBID ASTRONOMY, YOUR SISTER HAS BEEN SIGNING PETITIONS TO REJECT ALL SPACECRAFT FROM MUGGLES AND IT IS ENTIRELY  _YOUR FAULT!_ IF YOU BLOW ANOTHER PLANET OUT OF ORBIT, WE WILL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!"

Hux sputters as another thing materializes and whimpers when the thing turns out to be a person with red hair and a face as bright as a tomato.

"Do you mind, woman?!" Snoke snarls, before she points a stick at him like a weapon. He shuts up, sensing great power from the stick.

"You are coming home  _right this instant!_ " Molly Weasley grabbed Hux by the ear and with a loud CRACK!, vanished just as quickly.

Snoke stares at the empty space, realizing he needs to find a replacement with enough talent and experience to do the job half a justice.

Only to find that everyone in the room had run towards the escape pods….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As if I am the first to make note of the "Bill Weasley is Hux" joke. Thanks for the reviews last chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I don't understand how some people think The Last Jedi is worse than the prequel trilogy, those had horrible acting, humor and writing. May Carrie Fisher rest in peace.


End file.
